Written by So it’s yearly review time, and with the economy being the way it is, the average employee should not expect anything in return, except maybe criticism. One way to put it into perspective is to tell your employee your salary. Some great ways to do that are as follows, sometimes actions speak louder than words:
- “What do you make?” When they answer reply “Triple it and that’s what I make”. Follow up with a two hour lunch and leave early
- Make statements like “You know a 50K raise really doesn’t make much of a difference in my paycheck”
- Tell them the reason that they didn’t get a raise is so you could secure your bonus
- Show them pictures of your house and tell them how much it cost
- Have your bank statements in clear sight, they will cower in fear when they see how much more you have then they do
- Rent a lamborghini and drive it to work. Park in the handicap spot so it doesn’t get scratched
- Plan a vacation and make your assistant book your flights, hotels and dinner reservations with your corporate card, letting them know that perks are only for the righteous, change it in a week and make them complete the exercise again. Remember to bitch if they don’t get the money back from cancelling.
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