The art of fear based management

Posts in category Blame

Less Work = More Reward

Feb26
2011 Leave a Comment Written by Fear

Life is not fair or equitable.  Look at the universe it is mostly empty the mass is located in very tight spaces in relative terms.

In business you do not expect things to equal either, but there comes a time when even the most opened minded individuals will start to question the tactics of the powers to be…

It an economic downturn the company blames the current state of the economy and says we need to keep costs down to be affordable to our customers.  Then they launch the program and the masses either get no increase in pay ofrless than 2% a year which in many cases is like 700 dollars a year….

Meanwhile back at the ranch the CEO and his brethren rack in double digit millions while the poor saps that actually do work can’t buy milk.  Then they say “be happy your getting a paycheck”.

Then to top it off they spend money on useless consultants who are friends of the powers to be, whereas if they would have canceled the consulting agreements the rank and file could have gotten a much better raise – but then they cry – well that’s a different bucket of money!  WTF

 

Posted in Buzzwordology, Confusion, Dis-empowerment, Humiliation, Isolation, Strong Arm

The New Program

Feb26
2011 Leave a Comment Written by Fear

Has your company been struggling lately?  Has the poor economy decreased your business and the outlook is dim?

Here is a sure fire sign you are fucked…you notice new people around.  They have meetings with the boss.  They interview people and look at the numbers. Then….they have an all hands meeting and your management team says they are kicking off a new program call “ROAR” the roadmap of opportunities accelerate and recalibrate.

You are now official fucked and it is just a matter of time before you will be out of business.

 

Posted in Confusion, Fear, Humiliation, Strong Arm - Tagged

Up the line

Feb23
2011 Leave a Comment Written by CR

When employees think that they have the ability to make even the most minimal decisions, there is something VERY WRONG. If an employee makes a decision without your knowledge or shall I say blessing/approval, it is imperative that they be placed on a PIP. Furthermore, others will learn that even the smallest decisions must come through you.

The beauty of this one is that as we all know you are too busy to actually talk to your employees. You will win this one easily because now everyone is afraid to make a decision, but can never get your approval, thereby giving you the ammo you need to fire them for lack of performance. You can ALWAYS yell at them for not getting the job done, even if you weren’t available for approval. Remember ALWAYS question judgement with an overtone of doubt.

Posted in Confusion, Humiliation, Self Doubt

Take Credit for everyone’s (your) accomplishments

Jun05
2008 Leave a Comment Written by Fear

Did you see, hear, think of or read about something excellent…guess what…you did it!

All top managers know the way to the top is to run to the bosses office (or call / text) the moment you get a whiff of excellence or good news!! Beat your peers/subordinates/superiors (future underlings) to the bosses office and ensure you throw them under the bus (see previous post) at the same time you stake your claim!

You are on a rocket ship to the top!!

Posted in Dis-empowerment, Isolation, Self Doubt - Tagged

Under the Bus

Feb29
2008 6 Comments Written by CR

The best place to throw someone is under the busThrowing an employee “under the bus” is another excellent way to boost self esteem, ego, and pay. Nothing makes you look more in control than when you unleash on an employee in front of the board of directors.

Cunning, witty, and tactful…that is how the skill is executed. So you have steered an employee in the wrong direction during a major project, is that your fault? NO. The employee should know what to do that’s his job, you are management goddammit and don’t have time for bullshit details.

Some excellent phrases that come to mind to help accomplish your mission….

  • What the FUCK were you thinking????
  • You have singlehandedly  put the future of this company in jeopardy!
  • This is how you expect to get ahead?!?
  • I think you may not be what we are looking for in this company, or any company.
  • This shit has got to stop! Are you fucking retarded?
  • You and you alone have fucked us.

If executed properly, the bus should feel more like a semi truck. Your employee will literally have to scrape his self worth off the ground, which means that you have once again done your job! So pat yourself on the back, leave two hours early and don’t show up til Wednesday of next week! You earned it!

Posted in Dis-empowerment, Fear

Blame to Fame

Feb21
2008 Leave a Comment Written by CR

Blame is an excellent skill to have; especially after a project fails. The project fell a little short because you have spent more time drinking than managing the Who's to Blame?project and it has ultimately failed and/or been delayed for weeks. In order to allow upper management realize that it was none of your wrongdoing, try the following:

  • Always name names. Don’t ever use word like "they" or "my team", instead use the following – "John has a real problem with authority and actively refused participation in the project"
  • Fire someone. This is a prime example of you doing your very best.
  • Call out your employees on faults that may or may not have had during the duration of the project…. Lying goes a long way, and always makes you look better.
  • Recommend a demotion to all members of your team, so that you can receive a bonus whenever the project gets completed.

Remember eat coal…shit diamonds.

Back to Top